Wasn't the Attitude Era wonderful...? Part 1- Choppy Choppy your pee pee

3 August 1998 - Val Venis & Taka Michinoku vs Kai en Tai

So with part 1 I thought we’d look at a ‘comedy’ angle. I have gone with Val Venis & Taka Michinoku Vs Kai en Tai, but more specifically I have gone with the post match scene where Mr Yamaguchi-San and Kai en Tai along with Taka Michinoku who turns on Val, are seen to chop Val Venis’s penis off.

So where does this all begin. At this time in 1998 Val Venis is a new Superstar on the block who is unbeaten. Featuring in mostly backstage angles where the ‘Pornstar’ is in his bed. In the weeks leading up to August 3rd we find out that Val is having an afair with Mr Yamaguchi-San’s wife.

When Val enters the ring he cuts a promo that is supposed to appeal to the ladies where he states he has ‘the lightning bolt to charge for your goal’ in a not so subtle effort to get over his pornstar gimmick.

When Kai en Tai come to the ring they do so with an entourage which includes Mr and Mrs Yamaguchi-San and we are treated to the promo from the previous week where following a Val Venis match, Kai en Tai bring out a table with a large sausage on it and Mr Yamaguchi-San chops it with a Katana and then issues one of the most iconic lines from the attitude era. ‘I choppy choppy your pee pee’.

Yes you read that right.

So we get a match where Mr & Mrs Yamaguchi-san are ringside and Kai en Tai are in a tag team match versus Val Venis and Taka Michinoku. The match lasts around a minute and a half where Val gets some good offence in (watching this he actually looks like a better wrestler than I remember).

After Val fights off some double team offence from Kai en Tai he goes to tag in Taka, but before he can, Taka delivers a springboard dropkick and follows up with a DDT to Val Venis. Then as the entire of Kai en Tai go to work beating down Val Venis, Taka looks at the camera, points at Mrs Yamaguchi-San and shouts several times ‘My Sister, My Sister’.

The beat down continues until Val is rendered unconscious where he is dragged to the back. Raw cuts to an advert break and when it comes back on the air, Val is being dragged into a room backstage.

There’s then a short break from this story line where a European title match (Dlo Brown Vs Dan Severn) happens before we cut to backstage where they’re still beating the unconscious Val Venis.

Theres then a segment where a guy called Tiger Ali Singh pays a woman to eat dog food and then pays women $500 for every garment of clothing she removes. I’m not saying any more I just thought you should know that.

We then cut to a shot of Kai en Tai in the locker room with Mr Yamaguchi-San who is brandishing a sword and telling the camera man to get out. Another advert break and when we come back The Rock and Owen Hart are heading to the ring to fight Stone Cold and The Undertaker for the Tag Team Titles but as they are walking to the ring JR and King are saying there is a camera man trying to get back into the locker room.

To get to the finale of the story I had to watch the Tag title match which was a really good match. The match ends and there is a mass brawl in the ring but we cut away from it to see security getting into the locker room just in time for Val Venis who has his arms tied to the ceiling and has his body censored to make it appear as though he is naked.

Mr Yamaguchi-San has the katana ready to strike, the screen fades to black and we hear Mr Yamaguchi-San swing the sword and shout, Mrs Yamaguchi-San scream and what is supposed to be the sound of Val’s penis being chopped off. That is the last shot of the Raw.

So now that I have taken you through what happened lets analyse it.

The story here is Mrs Yamaguchi-San and Val Venis are having an affair. We find out that she is also Taka Michinoku’s Sister. Mr Yamaguchi-San instead of discussing the matter with his wife, wants to make sure that his wife’s fling can never have sex again. Taka Michinoku, instead of talking to his sister to find out why she is cheating, she may be unhappy in the relationship, she may be being abused, we dont know; but instead of Taka finding this out, he sides with Mr Yamaguchi-San because she has brought dishonour to his family. But he doesn’t want to punish his sister, just chop Val Venis’s penis off.

Despite all the flaws in the story here I think it actually works better than some modern WWE angles and is actually a little more progressive than what WWE usually do.

Hear me out.

If this story was to happen in 2019, a Female superstar would be in a relationship with another male superstar, then cheat on him with a third (think Naomi, Mandy Rose and Uso number 1 but swap it so Naomi sleeps with Dash Wilder). At least here they aren’t pretending that this is a woman’s story line.

It is also quite a funny angle, the over the top Japanese stereotypes are so well done by all involved (yes I know they are Japanese, but they go so over the top its clear its a piss take angle) and the comedy timing is great even though you’re meant to be taking it seriously.

There’s also not 3 commentators each trying to come up with a terrible joke to make and talking over each other.

I went into this only remembering the ‘I choppy choppy your pee pee’ line. I thought it would just be a good look at how stupid the Attitude Era was and while I still think this is one of the stupidest angles ever, it did still make me laugh and got a reaction out of me. I want to find out what happens next and I don’t feel apathy for any of those involved which is the complete opposite of most current WWE segments.

As an aside, it was terribly followed up the following week where Val Venis was brought to the ring in a wheelchair by a man who in real life has had his penis chopped off John Wayne Bobbitt and after a short promo he gets up, reveals he is fine and goes back to his old persona.

So all in all this ends up being a positive result for the Attitude Era. Who thought that would be the case when you read the headline of the article? I certainly didn’t.

Leave a comment below and tell me what you think or hit me up on twitter @Heel_MattQ to tell me how wrong I am.

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